If you’ve been surfing around the internet lately, you might have come across the buzzword gratitude and it triggered some mental images of people doing yoga or holding hands, etc. I’m a huge fan of the idea of being thankful and accepting and giving appreciation. However, as a current UNC graduate student, I’ve seen (and experienced) that it’s often easier to express gratitude to others than to be kind to our own selves….
So, last semester, I started adding some ‘be kind to yourself’ practices to my everyday school-work routine, and I was not only feeling much less anxious day-to-day, but I was actually 100% enjoying school. I want to share some of my tips with you so that you can all be kind to yourselves and THRIVE this semester.
Photo: “Stabilo pen″ by jbid. Flickr Creative Commons.
CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING: These tips can lower anxiety, help you focus on your schoolwork, and allow you to get to bed earlier! However, please be realistic, flexible, and forgiving. Don’t stress. These are just suggested exercises. Like most exercises, you’ll get faster, better, and more comfortable with practice.
1. Set yourself a time to finish all of your homework by each night.
Allow yourself ample time to do all of your work, make time for meals, and give yourself at least 1 hour to relax and wind-down before going to bed.
2. Set yourself a time limit for reading assignments.
First, only read assignments that are due the next day. Second, give yourself a set number of hours to complete the readings (I give myself 2 hours). Third, count the number of readings you have to do. Fourth, set small goals for each hour (“I will read 2 articles for the first hour and 3 articles in the second hour”).
3. Only EAT while you EAT!
Take time to enjoy your meals and not think about school or work! Try not to do work, check emails, answer calls, or text while you eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Take this time to catch-up on Gilmore Girls on Netflix or to relax to some good music.
4. Schedule in fun time – and feel GREAT about it!
I remember my pre-med days as a UNC undergrad, and it seemed like my life consisted of studying, sleeping (sometimes), and eating. If I was doing something fun, I would feel guilty or feel that I should be spending my time doing something productive. Well, FUN IS productive! As long as you’ve figured out a good balance that works for you, sprinkling in some fun activities in your calendar will keep you motivated and hopefully minimize some stress.
5. Add a little color into your life.
I’m talking PENS y’all! I’ve started using colored pens for note-taking (and stopped bringing my laptop to campus). When I take notes, they look pretty and I enjoy looking at them. It’s that simple! If you enjoy what you’re looking at, you can pay attention and focus longer. It has made note-taking and studying way more fun for me.
Photo: “Stabilo pen″ by jbid. Flickr Creative Commons.
So, I hope that in addition to expressing gratitude for others, I hope you add some kindness to your own life.
By Ben Smart
Constant phone calls, late night text messages, and 24/7 connectedness – your smartphone probably requires constant attention, and keeping up with the device might be stressful at times. But new research suggests that your handheld gadget could be an actual pain in the neck by contributing to chronic neck pain.
When you look down at your cell phone – or any handheld device – you flex your neck downwards. Using advanced software models, researchers in New York calculated the net weight exerted on the cervical (upper) spine at varying angles. When the head is in perfect posture – ears aligned with shoulders and shoulder blades retracted – the weight of the head is about 10 pounds on the upper spine. At 15 degrees, the net weight of the head on the spine increases to 27 pounds. At 30 degrees, your neck experiences 40 pounds of pressure from the head. At 45 degrees – the posture at which many people text – the weight of the head is a whopping 49 pounds.
According to the study, the average American spends an average of 2-4 hours a day in this hunched position. Over the course of a year, this accumulates to 700 – 1400 hours. Extra stress on the cervical spine over time contributes to premature wear and tear as well as degeneration. In other words, craning your neck downwards can hurt your upper spine and lead to permanent posture problems. You probably won’t look good or feel good if your cervical spine is damaged.
Read the study for yourself
This week, make every day ThrowBACK Thursday and focus on maintaining proper posture with your head aligned with your spine. It’s nearly impossible to avoid the handheld devices that require us to look downwards, but we can make a conscious effort to improve our posture.
Ready to get fit from head to heel? UNC Campus Recreation has the perfect program for you!
Remember, it took Harry a while to feel at home at Hogwarts, too! — photo: “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter: This Way To Hogwarts.” Scott Smith. Flickr Creative Commons.
I wish someone had told me when I started undergrad that the adjustment can be really tough and that it can take awhile. Everyone told me that college would be the best four years of my life, that I would make amazing new friends, and enjoy the freedom of being on my own. However, I was also far from home, missing my friends from high school, and trying to get used to college life. I soon realized it’s normal to feel awkward, lost, confused, homesick, and lonely (and so many other things) when you start college, and the first semester is especially hard for many people. It’s a huge adjustment, and even though everyone might not always be open about it, lots of people struggle when they start college. It’s still totally normal to not feel ready to call UNC home yet—sometimes it takes a semester or two (and sometimes more) to feel at home. Here are some tips that I have found helpful when I was struggling to adjust and that might help you find ways to make school feel a bit more like home.
- Know that you aren’t alone. Lots of people feel the same way, even if they aren’t talking about it. You are not the only one who is having a difficult time. It’s a time of transition for everyone and it can be very overwhelming.
- Keep your door open when you are in your room. This is a good way to meet people in your hall. It can also be a way to invite people to hang out without having to be especially social. It’s not too late to still meet people who live in your dorm!
- Find a place on campus you like. This could be a tree to study under, a favorite spot in the library, the Union, or an office on campus, such as the LGBTQ Center or Women’s Center.
- Talk to people in your classes. Did someone ask a thought-provoking question in discussion? Tell them so—it can lead to a great conversation that you can continue over lunch or coffee. Also, forming study groups is a great way to know people while also helping each other out! Especially with finals coming up, this can be a good way to get to know people in your class you’ve wanted to talk to all semester.
- Join a club or organization. Getting involved is one of the best ways to meet people. In addition to being a place of higher education, college is also a great time to try something new. Check out a sport, a service or political organization, or a religious or cultural group on campus. Joining a club or organization gives you an opportunity to meet friends who have similar interests, and for many clubs you can join at any point throughout the year.
- Know your resources! There are lots of people on campus who want to help you adjust and who understand it can be rough. CAPS can be a great resource to talk out how you are feeling, especially if these feelings persist. The Learning Center and The Writing Center are great places to visit to talk about adjusting to the college workload and college level writing. All these resources are covered under student fees, so it’s free to take advantage of them!
“Just Walking”; Beverly Goodwin; Flickr Creative Commons
There are plenty of personal reasons to walk, jog, bike or otherwise actively get around: it increases one’s own ability to get exercise, it’s cheap (or free!), and can have positive mental health outcomes like lowering stress and anxiety. But, actively getting around has greater altruistic benefits as well. Many of these are centered around the “eyes on the street” principle from sociologist Jane Jacobs:
“This is something everyone knows: a well-used city street is apt to be a safe street. A deserted city street is apt to be unsafe.”
The idea here is that the more eyes you have on a given street, the greater sense of community ownership and safety. The spirit of “eyes on the street” is not so much about watching what’s around us, but rather seeing and taking a part in what is around us, and thus, shaping the community. Here are the “eyes on the street” benefits of actively getting around campus and community by walking, biking, jogging, etc.:
“Just Walking”; Beverly Goodwin; Flickr Creative Commons
Getting to know community and community members
It sounds like a no-brainer, but actively getting around campus and the community allows us to get better acquainted with neighbors and those around us. When we choose to walk or bike versus drive, we have the ability to interact with those around us by smiling, waving, taking a minute to talk, etc. In a local example: in the Chapel Hill community, these kinds of connections with surroundings and neighbors can help bridge the UNC campus to the greater Chapel Hill community.
Neighborhood health and safety benefits
Actively getting around a community also means actively taking part in it. That means acknowledging what we appreciate about a neighborhood, and, importantly, it also means spotting things that seem like they need attention—from a large crack in the sidewalk, to a stray dog, to a jogger who has fallen. This can lead to benefits in crime-reduction and generally making things safer.
Increases community norms around activity
Actively getting around campus and community is contagious. The more people you see walking around, the more likely you might be to walk around yourself! In this way, being an active commuter is a way of changing social norms around activity.
Resources
These are just some of the community-wide benefits of actively getting around a community. Though we’ve focused on the benefits of actively getting around, it’s important to be safe while doing so. For more information on pedestrian and cyclist safety check out links at the UNC Department of Public Safety, and the Town of Chapel Hill.
When you think about how you can help prevent sexual or interpersonal violence, what comes to mind? Learning how to be an active bystander through workshops or trainings like One Act? Keeping your friends safe when partying or socializing? Joining a student organization like Project Dinah? These are all great ways to get involved in violence prevention and make our campus a safer place for everyone!
There is not just one way to get involved or prevent violence, because violence operates on a continuum of different levels, ranging from overt acts to participation in a culture that accepts or normalizes those acts. For example, public health professional Lydia Guy conceptualizes violence as a continuum of overlapping circles, ranging from actions complicit in systems of oppression (like racism, sexism, heterosexism, classism, or ableism) to less frequent, more overt acts of violence that most would agree should be treated as violent crimes. The actions toward the “more frequent” end of the spectrum (for example, catcalling or telling racist “jokes”) hold systems in place that make it possible for the “less frequent” violence (sexual assault, rape, or murder) to happen.
Making our campus safe can start with considering how our everyday language and conversations shape the overall culture that allows or deters violence on our campus. Most examples of language that contribute to violent culture happen frequently and are less noticeable. These ways of communicating not only reflect the culture we live in, but also shape the ways we know how to describe and react to potential situations of violence.
“Languages” by Chris JL, Flickr Creative Commons
Examples of this kind of language may include:
- Trivializing assault or other interpersonal violence, such as casually or jokingly using the terms “rape” or “stalking” (“That test raped me” or “I was totally Facebook stalking you earlier”)
- Language that contributes to the marginalization of a particular group, such as telling racist, classist, or homophobic jokes, using male-based generics (like “all men are created equal”), or other microaggressions (for example, assuming that everyone you meet is heterosexual when you ask about their dating life)
- Language that contributes to the silencing or invalidation of victims/survivors of violence, such as victim-blaming or shaming people for their sexual history, choice, or expression (“what a slut”)
- Language that conflates sexual and violent imagery, like saying “I hit that,” or someone got “banged” or “screwed,” that normalize the combination of violence and sexuality
- Language that propagates the myth that men are unable to control their sexual urges (“boys will be boys”)—this is not only insulting to men, but can also perpetuate the permissibility of acting on these urges, without regard to the consent of sexual partners.
The good news is that we can also use language to help prevent violence – starting today! Here are some ways you can help change culture and make sure people know our campus is a place that does not tolerate violence of any kind.
- Be purposeful with your words. Being conscious of the history and meanings of the words can be extremely powerful. It can be helpful to think about whether language choices make light of violence, shame survivors of violence, or contribute to the marginalization of certain groups of people. Make the decision as often as possible to avoid language that contributes to violent and/or oppressive culture.
- Keep your friends accountable, too! People may not be aware of how their language impacts violence. Gently pointing out violent or oppressive language from friends, partners, or acquaintances can create respectful and productive dialogue. Depending on the situation and comfort level, this may as simple as saying “hey, that’s not cool/funny,” or pulling them aside to talk later. It can also be powerful to ask others to identify any language that they think is violent, oppressive, or disrespectful from others.
- Stand up to oppressive “jokes.” Lately, my favorite way to do this has been simply saying, “I don’t get it… What do you mean?” The person telling the joke may have a hard time explaining!
- Use language to create a community of respect. For example, make an effort to honor the pronouns that a person chooses to go by, whatever they may be, or respect others’ agency by asking how they identify rather than making assumptions based on the way they look or act.
- Critically examine the media. For example, in a news story covering a sexual assault case, do reporters include unnecessary details — like what the victim/survivor was wearing, or their sexual history? How can phrasing affect the way the public — or the jury — perceives a crime? Overall, how does language affect the way we view the world?
- Educate yourself with some further reading! Here are some helpful articles to start with:
If you witness behavior that may cross a line into the territory of harassment or discrimination, check out UNC’s new policy for prohibited discrimination, harassment, and related misconduct for options and resources.
It takes on many forms: paying it forward, peer-to-peer support, volunteering, being there for a friend or partner. Altruism, the concern for well-being of others, is a powerful part of overall wellness. Doing things for other people can help build relationships and bring meaning to life. And, if that’s not awesome enough, altruistic actions can also have health benefits! Though the spirit of altruism is helping others, it has been shown that altruistic actions have an impact both on others and the person doing altruistic things.
Here are some of the health and wellness benefits of altruism:
- Increases satisfaction and self-esteem
On a psychological level, doing things for other people through service and volunteering has been shown to be associated with greater positive feelings, well-being, and overall satisfaction. In a study by Sawyer and colleagues, most students surveyed who volunteered for a peer education program found it a valuable activity, and nearly half of those surveyed reported increased self-esteem as a result of participating in the program.
Studies of peer education – or programs where a group is taught how to offer education and support to those in similar situations (ex: college students who are trained to provide health education to other students) – show a wide array of benefits to both the educators themselves, and the persons they are educating. In one study, peer educators were found to have increased their own health and wellness knowledge, with 43% adopting healthier behaviors themselves. Interestingly, the same study also found that some (20%) students participating in peer education programs also changed their career direction as a result of participating in the program.
By being of service to others and advocating for their needs, activities like peer support and volunteerism can help build awareness and perspective. In the study by Sawyer et al, 20% of those participating in peer education programs were more open to students’ behaviors and opinions. Altruistic activities can challenge one to think about issues that another person or group is facing, and increase empathy as a result –important components of cultural wellness.
- Acts as a powerful motivator for individual and population-level behavior change
Mind experiment: pick a health behavior –anything from vaccination, to screening, or smoking cessation. Now think about the following questions: do you want to do this behavior for yourself? How about committing to the health behavior for the benefit of others (partners, family, friends, community members)?
For many behaviors, the desire to perform or commit to a given behavior can be based on a mix of personal versus interpersonal motivations. In a personal example, I recently thought about hand-washing in my house. Don’t get me wrong: I definitely appreciate the importance of hand washing! But, when I thought about it, the desire to wash my hands to keep my partner healthy was as much, or possibly more, of a motivator for me than me washing my hands for my own health’s sake. In yet another example, with behaviors like getting the flu shot each year, it can often be very powerful to consider the benefits both for oneself (i.e., you are less likely to get the flu), and to others (i.e., it reduces flu transmission to the population). All in all, altruistic reasons for adopting healthy behaviors can be extremely powerful – sometimes more so than the reasons you have for adopting change just to help yourself.
Getting involved
Interested in getting involved in service and volunteering programs on the UNC campus? There are some fantastic service opportunities through the Carolina Center for Public Service, one of Student Wellness’ peer groups, or Student Wellness’ interpersonal violence prevention trainings. Be sure to check out our recent Healthy Heels blog post on being a more conscious volunteer.
It’s important to note that the health benefits of altruistic actions are not limited to formal service and volunteering opportunities. Every day, smaller actions that consider other people’s needs and feelings or help others can also have a powerful impact for oneself and for campus culture.
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