Have you seen or heard of Orgasms? Yes, Please!? It was held this past March and was presented by several of our bloggers in the Great Hall here at our very own UNC. The aim of the program was to provide educational information about the female orgasm in a fun and humorous manner. Although we focused solely on the female orgasm and women’s bodies, the program was intended for everyone – no matter how they identify or who they love. Unless otherwise specified, all of our partner information is applicable to anyone who partners with women. We covered lots of topics and, as expected, many questions from the audience ensued. The audience had a chance to ask questions prior to, during, and after the event. In an attempt to answer all questions that were not directly addressed at the event, we decided to post them on our blog for everyone (and not only those who came to the event!) to see. The questions will be divided into three different blog entries. Welcome to Part One!
Is possible not to be able to orgasm?
Women commonly report that they cannot orgasm. For the majority of women, reaching an orgasm takes practice. While a very few women have a sexual dysfunction that makes it impossible to orgasm, most women are physically able to orgasm. Self-exploration is really important to determine what feels good — using the imagination, stimulating the clitoris from different areas, trying different positions, using a vibrator, and making sure that the vaginal area is lubricated. After trying for a long time and getting nowhere near, Sexual Wellness Specialists (formerly CHECS) are always available to talk and provide reading materials or other resources that are useful. It is also possible that medications (especially SSRIs) affect arousal, as well as smoking, drinking, and certain medical conditions. If you’ve tried everything and you are concerned, you should ask your health care provider to do some tests.
Should you know for sure when you have an orgasm?
Actually, quite a few women do not know whether they’ve had an orgasm. It is possible that they have felt intense pleasure but not an actual orgasm; the latter involves many quick contractions. Also, we can partly blame the media, which provides a biased image of what orgasms look and sound like — not all women will express their pleasure vocally and most will not reach the orgasmic stage in 10 minutes! Orgasms are not all earth-shattering. Some tips to increase the intensity of an orgasm are doing Kegel exercises as well as building up the arousal phase.
What are the different types of orgasms? Are there types???
All orgasms come from stimulating the clitoris; it just depends on where it’s stimulated from. For instance, the G-spot orgasm is considered to be a different type of orgasm. However, the G-spot is just an internal part of the clitoris.
I can only orgasm if I’m lying on my stomach with a pillow under me…Is this normal?
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to orgasm. So, yes, it is normal.
How do you have multiple orgasms?
For some women, trying to orgasm a second time is not very pleasurable because the clitoris become hypersensitive after the first orgasm. However, the trick for many women is to take a break. After the first orgasm, let the clitoris rest for 20-60 seconds and then resume clitoral stimulation. If it’s still too sensitive then, try waiting a little bit longer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with women who cannot have multiple orgasms. Most women report that the most intense orgasm is the first one anyway.
What does the female ejaculation look like?
It’s a watery liquid, either clear or somewhat milky, produced from glands inside the urethral sponge. It’s not pee nor does it smell like urine.
What’s the difference between being wet and cumming?
When a woman becomes aroused the vaginal wall releases lubrication (note: this does not happen for all women). The liquid from ejaculation, on the other hand, does not come from the vagina but the urethra. If a small quantity is ejaculated, it can be confused with lubrication. Ejaculate happens all at once while lubrication is typically gradual. Some women may experience both, just one, or neither.
Sex talk with Sue said a woman can cum a cup to a quart… Really?
I would say this is uncommon, if at all possible. Typically, around half a coffee cup is considered average. Women may ejaculate large quantities of fluid or very small quantities (from a few drops to 1-2 cups).
Where does a female’s ejaculation come out of?
Female ejaculate comes from glands inside the urethral sponge, and comes out of the urethra.
Can all women ejaculate?
Hot debate! Some experts say yes while others say no… will we ever know? Perhaps it’s like asking “can all women wink?” – some cannot, even with practice.
Are there any good sex positions for g-spot stimulation other than doggie style?
It is mostly up to the woman to decide what feels good by trying different positions. Generally, coitus more ferarum (also known as the doggie position) and the spooning positions are good because pressure is applied to the G-spot, but we encourage exploring other positions as well.
Are you more likely to orgasm during oral sex?
To clarify, I would have liked to ask “as opposed to what?” With a partner, some women may find it easier to orgasm during oral sex because the clitoris may be more easily stimulated. However, some women may find it easier to orgasm on their own using finger(s) or a vibrator because they know right away what feels good or not. There is no general rule and varys from one person to the next.
How can you enhance oral sex experience?
Talk, talk, talk – communication! It’s important to tell a partner what feels good and what feels… not as good. Trying different positions, different types of stimulation or even adding in fingers or sex toys are options to consider.